How to challenge a thought that feels true

Have you ever wanted something different in your life, but no matter how much you thought about it, you just couldn’t seem to create the shift you wanted?

You know your thoughts create your reality. You understand the thought model. You may even be really good at self-coaching.

And yet, sometimes you can still feel completely stuck.

That happened to me recently.

I was self-coaching on something I want that I don’t have yet. I knew I wanted a different outcome, and I knew that my current thoughts were contributing to my current reality.

But I couldn’t quite figure out what the missing piece was.

Then something clicked.

My reality is a reflection of my thoughts.

And if I want to create a different reality, I have to think differently.

But what do I need to think?

The answer that landed for me was surprisingly simple:

I have to believe the outcome I want is possible.

Not just maybe possible.

Not “I hope I can.”

Not “I wonder if I’m capable of this.”

I have to decide that it is possible for me.

That was the shift.

Look at the things you've already done

Once I realized this, I started looking back at my own life.

There have been so many things I’ve accomplished that I had never done before.

Graduating high school. Going to college. Getting my accounting degree. Passing the CPA exam. Moving to a new town where I knew nobody. Raising a young child while working full-time. Becoming a coach.

I had no evidence that I could do those things before I did them.

I simply believed they were possible.

The same thing happened when I started running.

I had never been a runner. In fact, I had tried running when I was younger and thought I was going to die!

But when I eventually decided to train for a 5K, I didn’t question whether I could do it. I found a training program, signed up for the race, and committed to the outcome.

That belief didn't mean everything went perfectly.

There were days when I couldn't finish a scheduled run. There were times I had to call for a ride because my body simply wasn't going to finish that day.

But I didn't decide the goal was impossible.

I didn't use that experience as evidence that I couldn't do it.

I simply tried again.

And eventually, the 5K became a 10K, and then a half marathon.

What if you stopped using your past as proof against yourself?

This is where I think this idea gets really powerful.

Our brains are incredibly good at finding evidence for whatever we are already thinking.

If you're thinking:

“I’m not good at this.”

Your brain will find evidence.

If you're thinking:

“I always do this.”

Your brain will find evidence.

If you're thinking:

“This probably isn't going to work.”

Your brain will find evidence for that, too.

And suddenly your reality seems to confirm the thought.

It becomes a cycle:

Your thoughts create your reality → your reality reflects your thoughts → your reality becomes evidence for the thought.

So what happens when you want a different reality?

You have to interrupt the cycle.

And sometimes you don't need to figure out the perfect new thought.

You simply need to start with:

“This is possible for me.”

You don't have to believe everything your brain tells you

One of the biggest shifts for me was realizing that those old thoughts don't necessarily disappear.

They may still show up.

The difference is that now I can recognize them.

I can hear the familiar thought and say:

“That's old news.”

That's not how we're thinking anymore.

That thought may feel familiar. It may even feel true because it has been reinforced by my past experience.

But familiar doesn't mean inevitable.

And my past reality doesn't have to become my future reality.

When the old thought shows up, I can notice it, choose something different, and then look for evidence that I'm moving toward the outcome I have decided on.

That's self-coaching.

It's noticing the thought.

Making the decision.

Committing to the new outcome.

And staying the course.

What do you believe is possible for you?

Think about something you want that you don't have yet.

Maybe it's a goal.

Maybe it's a different way of showing up.

Maybe it's a new habit.

Maybe it's a completely different life.

Now ask yourself:

Do I actually believe this is possible for me?

And if the answer is no, don't beat yourself up for that.

Just notice it.

Because that may be the piece you've been missing.

You don't have to know exactly how you're going to get there.

You don't have to have all the evidence yet.

You don't have to know every step.

You can simply decide:

This is possible for me.

And then let your brain start looking for the evidence, ideas, opportunities, and actions that support that new belief.

You may be surprised at what becomes possible when you stop arguing for the reality you have—and start believing in the reality you're creating.