What If Your Resistance Is Actually Trying to Help You?

Have you ever felt like something inside you is holding you back? You know what you want to do, you know where you want to go, but something seems to get in the way. You feel stuck, frustrated, or unable to figure out what's stopping you from moving forward.

I've always thought of resistance as something that works against me. It's a roadblock standing between me and what I want to accomplish. Something I need to overcome, get rid of, or push past.

But what if we've been looking at resistance all wrong?

In this week's Tuesday Talks with Twila, I'm sharing a perspective that completely changed the way I think about resistance. What if the part of you that seems to be holding you back is actually trying to protect you?

What If Resistance Is on Your Side?

Instead of treating resistance like the enemy, imagine approaching it as a part of you that's trying to help.

Maybe it's concerned about something. Maybe there's something important to you that it wants to protect. Maybe it sees a potential risk in the direction you're trying to go, and it's trying to get your attention.

When we view resistance this way, it changes our relationship with it.

Instead of getting frustrated and demanding that it go away, we can get curious. We can begin asking questions and listening to what it might be trying to tell us.

This doesn't mean resistance is always right or that we should let it make our decisions. It means we can learn from it rather than automatically fighting against it.

Stop Pushing Against Yourself

When we believe resistance is the enemy, our instinct is often to push it away. We want to eliminate the block so we can finally move forward.

But what if fighting against that part of ourselves is actually making things harder?

I've realized that I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out what was going on inside me while approaching those moments with frustration. I knew something was there, but I couldn't quite identify it. The harder I tried to force an answer, the more elusive it seemed.

What if that part of me needed a different approach?

What if it needed to feel welcomed instead of interrogated? What if curiosity and compassion could help me uncover information that frustration never could?

When we approach ourselves with openness, we create space to understand what's happening beneath the surface. We can begin to feel supported by ourselves rather than as though we're constantly fighting an internal battle.

Get Curious About Your Resistance

The next time you notice yourself hesitating, avoiding something, or feeling an invisible block between you and what you want, try approaching it differently.

Instead of immediately asking, "How do I get past this?" consider asking:

• What might this resistance be trying to protect me from?

• What is it concerned about?

• Is there something important to me that it wants to preserve?

• What might I need to understand or consider before moving forward?

• How can I honor what's important to me while still pursuing what I want?

You don't have to force an answer. The goal isn't to interrogate yourself until you uncover something. It's to create enough space and curiosity for an answer to emerge.

You might discover that you're worried about failure, rejection, uncertainty, or losing something that matters to you. Or you might uncover a concern you hadn't consciously recognized before.

Whatever you discover, you now have information you can work with.

You Can Move Forward Without Ignoring Yourself

We all have things we want to accomplish, experiences we want to have, and goals we'd love to pursue. Sometimes those things feel scary because they're new, unfamiliar, or outside our comfort zone.

And sometimes, moving forward means accepting that discomfort will be part of the process. We build confidence and resilience by doing difficult things, even when they feel uncomfortable.

But we don't have to treat every internal hesitation as something to conquer.

When we become curious about our resistance, we can better understand what matters to us and find ways to move forward while respecting those things.

The goal isn't to get rid of resistance. It's to understand it, learn from it, and discover how it can help you move forward.

What if the part of you that you've been fighting against has actually been trying to help you all along?

That possibility feels incredibly freeing to me. Instead of seeing resistance as another problem I need to solve, I can begin to see it as an untapped resource—one that might help me understand myself and move toward the things I want.

Your Turn: Make Friends With Your Resistance

Think about something you've been wanting to do but haven't been able to move forward with. Maybe you've been procrastinating, hesitating, or feeling like there's an invisible block you can't quite explain.

Rather than trying to force yourself into action, take a moment to get curious.

What might this resistance be trying to protect? What's important to you in this situation? What information might help you move forward with greater understanding and confidence?

You don't have to fight yourself to create change. Sometimes, the first step is simply learning to listen.

I'd love for you to explore this idea with me in this week's Tuesday Talks with Twila. Let's stop treating resistance like the enemy and start discovering what it might have to teach us.