The Decisions You Don’t Make Are Still Decisions

How often do you tell yourself, “I’ll decide later”?

Maybe you’re still thinking about it. Maybe you need more information. Maybe you just want to see how things play out.

Sometimes that’s a perfectly reasonable approach. But sometimes, “I’ll decide later” is actually a way of avoiding the decision altogether.

And here’s the thing:

The decision you don’t make is still a decision.

When we stay stuck in “I don’t know,” “maybe,” or “we’ll see what happens,” we aren’t actually staying neutral. We’re allowing time, circumstances, or someone else to make the decision for us.

The miserable maybe

There’s a particular kind of stuckness that happens when we’re caught between two options.

Should I do this or that?

Do I want this or don’t I?

Should I start or should I wait?

Maybe I’ll do it later.

We can convince ourselves that we’re being thoughtful or responsible. We’re gathering information. We’re weighing our options. We’re waiting until we’re sure.

But there’s a difference between proactively gathering information so you can make a decision and using information-gathering as a way to avoid making one.

Eventually, we have to decide.

And a decision doesn’t have to be permanent.

We can change our minds. We can change directions. We can stop doing something and start doing something else. We can learn from a decision and make a different one later.

But when we never decide, there is no forward movement. We’re simply sitting in the middle of the road.

Sometimes the little decisions matter most

While thinking about this topic, I noticed how many small areas of my own life were affected by indecision.

One example was walking.

I had already decided that I wanted to be someone who walks every day. It was a priority for me. But as my schedule and the weather changed, I suddenly had more flexibility about when I could walk.

And instead of that flexibility making things easier, it made me less decisive.

I would think, “I don't want to walk right now. Maybe I'll walk later.”

But “maybe later” wasn't actually a decision to walk later.

It was a decision not to decide.

And then the day would get away from me.

I didn't walk.

What struck me was that I wasn't making a conscious decision not to walk. I was simply allowing the day to decide for me.

And by the end of the day, I was disappointed.

That made me realize how many other little things can work exactly the same way.

What am I going to eat?

When am I going to exercise?

What do I want to prioritize?

How do I want to spend my time?

What do I want to do more of?

What do I want to stop doing?

These decisions may seem inconsequential in the moment, but they accumulate.

Ask yourself: What do I want?

Underneath so many of these decisions is a very simple question:

What do I want?

What do I want here?

How do I want this to be?

How do I want this experience to feel?

What do I want to prioritize?

I’ve talked before about simply asking yourself, “What do I want?” without putting pressure on yourself to come up with one perfect answer.

When I practiced this, I discovered that my answers evolved. One day I would come up with one list, and another day something completely different would surface.

The more I asked, the more I discovered.

It became a way of reconnecting with myself.

And then, like so many things, I stopped doing it.

I got busy. I got focused on other things. I apparently decided I had gotten all the answers I needed.

But I hadn't.

Sometimes we need to keep asking ourselves what we want because our answers can change as we change.

Don’t let your brain make the decision for you

Our brains love the familiar.

They love conserving energy. They love avoiding discomfort. They will offer us plenty of reasons to wait:

“That will be hard.”

“You might fail.”

“You don't know enough yet.”

“You can figure it out later.”

“Maybe it will just work itself out.”

And if we aren't paying attention, we can slip right back into autopilot.

It can feel easier to stay in the familiar than to make a decision and move forward.

But there is a cost to that.

When we continually allow decisions to slip through our fingers, we also allow opportunities, experiences, priorities, and time to slip away.

And sometimes that is where regret comes from.

Not necessarily because we made the wrong decision—but because we never made one at all.

You don't have to decide everything today

You don't need to overhaul your entire life.

You don't need to figure everything out.

You don't even need to make a major decision.

Start with one.

Look at your life and ask:

• Where am I not deciding?

• Where am I living in “maybe”?

• What am I avoiding?

• What am I resisting?

• What am I allowing to be decided by circumstances?

• What do I want to prioritize?

• What do I want to start doing?

• What do I want to stop doing?

• What decision have I been putting off?

Then choose one.

Make the decision.

Commit to it.

Move forward.

Maybe you'll discover that you made exactly the right decision. Maybe you'll discover that you want to change directions later.

Either way, you'll be moving.

And movement creates experience, learning, growth, and progress.

Because an extraordinary life isn't created by simply coasting through the days and letting things happen to us.

It's created by being intentional about how we want to experience our lives—and then making decisions that move us in that direction.

The decisions you don't make are still decisions.

So don't let them happen to you.

Make one decision today.