Are you People Pleasing? Maybe without realizing it?

Are you People Pleasing? Maybe without realizing it? 

I know this topic can strike a nerve or be controversial, so please keep an open mind. 

When we people please, basically we say yes, when we really don't want to. Our heart is really wanting to say no. Why don't we listen to ourselves? 

We feel like saying yes shows we love the other person, we're afraid of making the other person mad, or we've just adopted this behavior and never stopped to question it. 

I want to make a strong argument for Loving Yourself First. When you listen to your genuine truth, the connection you build with others is so much greater and stronger. When you love yourself first, you show up to the people around you with honest, genuine love. 

What happens when we say yes, when we don't want to, is we can build up resentment or resistance to the relationship. This does not bring us closer. It's builds the distance between us. 

So, tap into your true, honest answer. And love the person through their reaction. That reaction is theirs to own, not yours. 

If your friend no longer wants to have lunch with you because you aren't paying anymore, notice how this reveals the true nature of your relationship. This is a representation of them, not you. 

Honesty is how we build loving relationships. And it starts by loving ourselves first. 

Loving ourselves, putting ourselves first, does not mean putting ourselves above others. It means loving ourselves and loving others too. We pull our loved ones in, we don't rise above them and look down on them. It builds a more genuine connection. 

If saying yes to everyone and everything others want to do leaves you feeling exhausted and tired, this is a sign that you are giving too much to others and not enough to yourself. When you love yourself first and take care of you, you show up with energy and love to enjoy the relationships with those around you. 

When faced with an offer, request, or invitation...get curious with yourself, what do you truly want to do? Will this give you energy, or take your energy. 

Choose honesty, and genuine truth when you answer. And love the other person through their reaction. 

Let me know if you struggle with this behavior. Be open and get curious. A life of genuine love and connection awaits on the other side of dropping this behavior!