What is Buffering and Why is it important?

What is Buffering and Why is it important?

I've never really thought that I buffered, until recently when my coach said that when we answer the question "what do you want" with "I don't know", that is buffering. That got my attention. When I really looked at my life and behaviors, I have been buffering without even realizing it. 

Buffering is where we do something to avoid an emotion. Usually it happens without us even realizing it. So, we might be halfway through a box of Oreos before we question why we're even eating. Buffering leads to over eating, over drinking, over scrolling or distracting, or over working. 

Remember that emotion comes from a thought we're thinking. But we might notice the emotion or sensation in our body first and then buffer, without the opportunity to figure out the thought. It can all happen so swiftly and quickly. 

Imagine if you weren't buffering at all, what would remain? If we are buffering to avoid an uncomfortable emotion, then we'd be left with discomfort. Why would we want that instead?

The reason we want the real uncomfortable emotion is because there is important messages in these emotions. They are trying to tell us something, and we need to listen. They will keep coming back if we don't address them, which means we'll keep buffering and creating a life we don't want. 

What we really, truly want is what's under the buffering and under the uncomfortable emotion. Real connection to our genuine desires is hidden under all this. 

The secret to figuring this all out is to notice when it's happening so you can get curious about the emotion and curious about the thoughts that created it. We want to pause when we notice, so we can take a step back and allow the emotion. We don't want to react to it or change the thoughts, we want to just allow it. Notice what you're thinking. Notice how it feels in your body. It won't harm you or hurt you. It simply vibrates through your body. 

When we can allow any emotion, we can break free from buffering. We can get curious about the negative emotion and what's causing it. We can connect with our genuine self and learn more about what we really want. 

Take a look at your life. Is there an area where you are over doing something that you really don't want to be doing? Get curious about what is happening when we are over doing these things - eating, drinking, working, scrolling. 

Connect with a life that is genuine and true for you. That's when we really live an amazing life!