Break Out of Overwhelm

How to break free from Overwhelm

The feeling of overwhelm can feel like it's happening to us. It can feel like everything around us is causing the overwhelm. 

Here's the best news, it's not the things around you that need to change...It's the way you're thinking about it. That's it! 

When I first heard this, it blew my mind. Even with all the thought work I do regularly, the way this landed was everything. 

And the solution is so simple. Once we know, we can't unknow. Is that a word? Well, it is today.

All of our thoughts about all the things we need to do, want to do, or think we should be doing is what causes the feeling of overwhelm. 

First of all, we need to notice the things that we think we should be doing, should be doing more or should be doing better. We need to stop "shoulding" ourselves. This only makes us feel worse. And it's simply not true. 

Secondly, here is the solution to breaking out of overwhelm...

My favorite analogy is that all of these thoughts about the things "to do" create clutter in our minds - like a junk drawer. This creates chaos, it creates overwhelm. 

The first step is to dump out the junk drawer. Take out a clean piece of paper and write down every thought in your mind. Every. Single. One. No judging, no restricting. Everything goes onto the paper. Even thoughts that have nothing to do with things that need to be done. Give yourself a few minutes of undistracted time to complete this. Silence your phone and just let the thoughts flow onto the paper. 

Next, take a different color pen or a highlighter (this is my favorite) and go through the list and circle or highlight all of the items that are things to do.

Now, after each one, write down how long it will take to complete the task. When you do this step, you will likely be shocked at how many items are just 5 minute tasks that are just cluttering your mind and making you feel overwhelmed. For items where you're not sure how long they'll take, you get to decide how long they'll take. Just think about the task and what you want to dedicate to getting it done. Decide and move on. 

Next, schedule every task on your calendar. Find a date and time to complete each one. Crossing out each one as you get them scheduled. Look back at your sheet and see your progress. All of that clutter, organized! Scheduled! 

Feel the relief of knowing that you don't have to carry all of those thoughts around in your head. You also don't have to wonder how you'll get it all done. You also don't have to wonder what you should be doing. You've just planned and scheduled and know exactly what and when to do it.

Of course, you can add to your calendar as things come up or change. This is something you can do weekly to stay on top of the constantly incoming things to do. 

One last tip... when you look at your list of thoughts, you may have items that are just negative. The "should" thoughts are one of them. When we think we should be doing more or we're not doing enough, this is a put down to ourselves. The reality is you get to decide how much you want to do. You don't HAVE to do it all. You can decide not to do things. Even things for your loved ones. These things can be delegated or simply not done. 

Notice if you're telling yourself you HAVE to do things. Rarely is this true. The truth is you WANT to do them. And if you don't want to, don't do them! When you shift this perspective, it can feel empowering and heartwarming. We really do want to do things for our loved ones. Sometimes we wish someone else would do it for us, but we genuinely want these things done and want to do them when no one else will. Telling yourself the truth here is huge. It doesn't serve us to tell ourselves the negative side of things. Catch these negative thoughts and get curious. What is really true? 

Overwhelm doesn't just happen to us. We create it in our minds. This simple exercise will break you out of the cycle of overwhelm. It will likely take regular work, as it does for me. Our survival brain will want to offer common thoughts like we have so much to do, how will we get this all done, there's not enough time. When this comes back up, show and tell your brain how you have the tasks scheduled and how you have it all handled. Debunk your negative thoughts. Teach your brain to think differently. Redirect every time. Put in the effort to clear the clutter in your mind. 

Choose a life free of chaos and overwhelm. It really is a choice!